It's only money

For those of you have ever experienced a time of unemployment or underemployment, this is for you. My husband is a project manager in commercial construction with a BA from Villanova University. Within our 13 year marriage, we are presently in what I believe to be our 7th layoff. The most painful was in 2009 lasting over 8 months. We had 3 boys at home - and our youngest was a newborn. Those months were long. Long and very, very painful. I was hormonal (post baby) and so was our teenage son, for reasons altogether different. (Oh, I'm laughing at myself. That was funny.) The togetherness was unending - and in a small house, there was really nowhere to be but together. I made so many mistakes back then for which I'm paying now, in part, with the fractured relationship we share with our oldest, now 21. I wish so badly I would have had more faith. That worry wouldn't have been my closest friend. That *I* would have been the one providing peace in the home instead of the one adding unnecessary strife to our mess. This time, in late October, my husband was blindsided with a layoff from a new job he thought was going fairly well. He was crushed (still is if you want to know the truth), but I vowed things would be much different this time around. I got on my knees by the bed that he was laying in and I buried my face. But when I looked up at him again, I said confidently, WE ARE GOING TO TRUST GOD. I so wanted this next layoff to prove to be a real growing, loving, nurturing time in our family. So I prayed for grace. Grace. Faith. And manna. I prayed that each day God would grant me the grace I needed to live out the very faith that I so often TALK about, WRITE about and SING about. The kind of immutable faith that would protect my children from feeling the sting of the drought we were going through. That hopefully when they are older they can look back and say, "we didn't have much, but we didn't KNOW we didn't have much." I prayed that God would then show His glory by providing for us in new and unexpected ways. So? The doorbell rang while I was cooking dinner. My hair was a wreck, I think I even had raw chicken on my hands (I'm an expert at cross contamination). A woman I knew only casually handed me $500. I couldn't believe it. Then again, I could. After all, THAT is how God works. My boys were squealing. "Look how God provides!", I told them. An anonymous envelope in the mailbox containing $40 reading, "Have dinner on us tonight" came the next day. A $300 check arrived in the mail from a girlfriend. An email from a gal I met at MOPS three years ago - who didn't even know about our situation, asked me if she could bring us dinner. Her husband was away and she had extra. A man walking alongside me at church one Sunday reached over to hold my hand (I thought, what a FRIENDLY CHURCH!) and slipped me $40. It was a day that my tank was nearly empty. Several other things happened each day that gave me the confidence to keep trusting God. A free chicken at the market - because it rang up wrong at the register. A bunch of baked goods from Great Harvest because they accidentally lost my order. An anonymous envelope left at our preschool containing $100. A gift card for groceries. Another gift card for groceries. There were so many things day after day that reminded me that our God is loving and that He LOVES to give good gifts to His children. Oh, here's a fun one. I was asked to sing at a church in Kennett Square. I had to make the trip during the week for rehearsal, then back again to serve on Sunday. That was a blow to my gas tank. I thought to myself, should I tell the church it's a hardship for me and ask them to help offset the cost of fuel? I thought back to my childhood when my father taught me to "do it as unto the Lord". So I told myself I would just trust God to provide. Low and behold, after singing at the 9am service, a woman I used to know from COS leaned over and slipped me two Andrew Jacksons. I laughed and laughed as I told her the story of my petrol predicament. This is the piece. The PIECE to achieving PEACE that passes all understanding. That piece is trusting in the strong name of Jesus of Nazareth. Don't get me wrong. Things are still pretty bad. This is the only year I didn't have one present to open on my birthday, but I didn't really care. I have peace inside. And our finances are still a wreck, the van is not inspected and our credit rating is probably in the sewer and I'm really not even certain we'll be able to stay in our home. But when you have eternal perspective you realize that the trials we face on this earth are only for a short time. What is really important is serving and loving God and helping others to receive eternal life in Christ. And, after that remember. It's only money. PHOTO CRED: Allie Skylar Photography