You know what's fun? Living a life that's so amusing, it's worth writing about.
Herein is a list of things commonly heard being the wife of a guy who's been out of work a lot.
THEM: Awwww. How's it going? Any leads?
ME:(I curl the corner of my mouth, shake my head lightly and exhale...) No.
THEM: So how's he doing?
ME: The same.
THEM: But you haven't lost your sense of humor. You're still so perky!
ME: Yeah? Here. Let me high five you. In the face. With this chair.
THEM: But what about that job he interviewed for...you know, a couple months ago?
ME: Oh yeah, that? Yes, he's the CEO of that Fortune 500 company now. And I have a private jet.
THEM: So have you thought about going back to work?
ME: Yes. Yes I have. I figure between running the household and homeschooling my children, the graveyard shift would be a perfect fit for me. I would just have to give up sleeping.
THEM: Well, please let me know if I can do anything to help.
ME: How about you list me as a dependent on your AETNA PPO for a few months. Retroactive to 2015.
THEM: Is he depressed?
ME: Is the Pope Catholic?
THEM: And what would you like on your burger?
ME: Government cheese, I guess.
THEM: I saw the other day 7-Eleven is hiring!
ME: Oh. You're so pretty.
THEM: I want to help! I'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU ON MY TEAM (read: I'll earn commissions by being my downline) in RODAN & FIELDS!!
ME: (Get the paddles.....charging......CLEAR!!)
To those of you who genuinely care, this is all in good fun. Thank you for your concern. xo
