Christmas Newsletter 2015

Due to some recent cut-backs and markedly reduced cash flow, this year's Christmas greeting will be electronic. So if you can SEE this, read it. It's your Christmas card. It begins here >>> Rejoice! It's that time again! That time of year, full of wonder and mystery. Where newsletters from family and friends far and wide come pouring in! Perfectly staged family pictures, taken by paid photographers, each out-doing the next. Families gracefully stretched out on giant throws, nestled between the high-reaching brush of a deer tick infested field during Fall's peak photo shoot season. Fashionably costumed in harmonious Pinterestesque-looking hues. "Behold, A Savior Is Born!" is really spelled more like, "Sebastian's excelling in all of his studies. He was awarded summa cum Tootsie Roll among his 3rd grade peers...he also toured with the boys' choir to Prague, so we decided to meet up with him and ride camels through Egypt on the way home...anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!" Listen, I don't begrudge you all the nice things you've worked hard to do and have. Scratch that. Maybe I do. Nevertheless, don't feel sorry for me. The wonder continues in our home. It's just a little different than yours. For instance, every day I wake up and wonder if the heat will work... If the phone's just off the hook, or perhaps my service has been suspended. I wonder if my pants will fit. Or if this will be the last time we survive another crack at the Russian roulette I play with questionably out-of-date poultry products. Or if anyone notices that I haven't really tried to do anything cute with my hair in over two, OK six years. I wonder if my A1C really is reaching fatal highs. And perhaps, if I play my cards right and I put off having a baseline mammogram one more year, maybe I won't be alive long enough to actually have to have one. I wonder if it's possible that my neighbor can actually hear the family feuds that take place in the driveway and perhaps that's the reason she no longer talks to me. Well, enough about me. I'm guessing you want to hear how my perfect children are doing? So, Jake is 23 now. And things are great. Yes, all those charges were dropped. Levi is 9. We've been working hard to address the bullying. He's no longer allowed to target Muslims on the playground, and he's under strict instruction to only go after girls half his size and greater. And Jude. He's 7 and ALMOST potty trained. Atta boy! As for the homeschooling, I've decided to give the boys a year off to decide what they want to do with their lives. (You don't ever want to push kids too hard.) Paul is still unemployed so I'm using this opportunity to experiment with welfare provisions. I'm excited to announce my new holiday cookbook, "Easy, Elegant Entertaining with Government Cheese". Look for it on Amazon in the coming days.

From our nearly repossessed home to yours, MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY 2016!

In all seriousness, anything we have is more than we deserve and God's been gracious and faithful all year long, as always, despite our complaints of temporary, worldly struggles. Even the very air we breathe is a gift. Just to live another day in this country, proclaiming our faith in Him without fear of losing our heads, is something we highly underestimate. Happy Christmas wishes and love from all of us at The White House.

Matthew 1:21 “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.”