It's only money

For those of you have ever experienced a time of unemployment or underemployment, this is for you. My husband is a project manager in commercial construction with a BA from Villanova University. Within our 13 year marriage, we are presently in what I believe to be our 7th layoff. The most painful was in 2009 lasting over 8 months. We had 3 boys at home - and our youngest was a newborn. Those months were long. Long and very, very painful. I was hormonal (post baby) and so was our teenage son, for reasons altogether different. (Oh, I'm laughing at myself. That was funny.) The togetherness was unending - and in a small house, there was really nowhere to be but together. I made so many mistakes back then for which I'm paying now, in part, with the fractured relationship we share with our oldest, now 21. I wish so badly I would have had more faith. That worry wouldn't have been my closest friend. That *I* would have been the one providing peace in the home instead of the one adding unnecessary strife to our mess. This time, in late October, my husband was blindsided with a layoff from a new job he thought was going fairly well. He was crushed (still is if you want to know the truth), but I vowed things would be much different this time around. I got on my knees by the bed that he was laying in and I buried my face. But when I looked up at him again, I said confidently, WE ARE GOING TO TRUST GOD. I so wanted this next layoff to prove to be a real growing, loving, nurturing time in our family. So I prayed for grace. Grace. Faith. And manna. I prayed that each day God would grant me the grace I needed to live out the very faith that I so often TALK about, WRITE about and SING about. The kind of immutable faith that would protect my children from feeling the sting of the drought we were going through. That hopefully when they are older they can look back and say, "we didn't have much, but we didn't KNOW we didn't have much." I prayed that God would then show His glory by providing for us in new and unexpected ways. So? The doorbell rang while I was cooking dinner. My hair was a wreck, I think I even had raw chicken on my hands (I'm an expert at cross contamination). A woman I knew only casually handed me $500. I couldn't believe it. Then again, I could. After all, THAT is how God works. My boys were squealing. "Look how God provides!", I told them. An anonymous envelope in the mailbox containing $40 reading, "Have dinner on us tonight" came the next day. A $300 check arrived in the mail from a girlfriend. An email from a gal I met at MOPS three years ago - who didn't even know about our situation, asked me if she could bring us dinner. Her husband was away and she had extra. A man walking alongside me at church one Sunday reached over to hold my hand (I thought, what a FRIENDLY CHURCH!) and slipped me $40. It was a day that my tank was nearly empty. Several other things happened each day that gave me the confidence to keep trusting God. A free chicken at the market - because it rang up wrong at the register. A bunch of baked goods from Great Harvest because they accidentally lost my order. An anonymous envelope left at our preschool containing $100. A gift card for groceries. Another gift card for groceries. There were so many things day after day that reminded me that our God is loving and that He LOVES to give good gifts to His children. Oh, here's a fun one. I was asked to sing at a church in Kennett Square. I had to make the trip during the week for rehearsal, then back again to serve on Sunday. That was a blow to my gas tank. I thought to myself, should I tell the church it's a hardship for me and ask them to help offset the cost of fuel? I thought back to my childhood when my father taught me to "do it as unto the Lord". So I told myself I would just trust God to provide. Low and behold, after singing at the 9am service, a woman I used to know from COS leaned over and slipped me two Andrew Jacksons. I laughed and laughed as I told her the story of my petrol predicament. This is the piece. The PIECE to achieving PEACE that passes all understanding. That piece is trusting in the strong name of Jesus of Nazareth. Don't get me wrong. Things are still pretty bad. This is the only year I didn't have one present to open on my birthday, but I didn't really care. I have peace inside. And our finances are still a wreck, the van is not inspected and our credit rating is probably in the sewer and I'm really not even certain we'll be able to stay in our home. But when you have eternal perspective you realize that the trials we face on this earth are only for a short time. What is really important is serving and loving God and helping others to receive eternal life in Christ. And, after that remember. It's only money. PHOTO CRED: Allie Skylar Photography

The thing I wish I never would have googled

Music is a glorious thing. It can make us laugh, weep, SOB even, dance, worship, think. It can help us remember a place in time long ago when we were in love or when someone we loved broke our heart. It can transport us back to being 4 years old eating stale crackers in a Sunday School room while a little boy with a horrible runny nose reached to grab your hand. Many can mark time by a certain favorite song. One of my most beloved shows these days is The Voice. I am blown away by the talent they found and cannot believe these people have to compete against each other. They're ALL winners to me! As a singer, they make me feel like I can't even pull-off a verse of the Itsy Bitsy Spider without embarrassing myself entirely. And when I sit down to watch this show each week, many times I have to squint to see the title of the song displayed on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen because I am just not acquainted with pop music any more. So when a boy named Nic Hawke did a really upbeat tune where he had to rap, sing in falsetto and pull off many parts, the judges went NUTS because "he single-handedly sang ALL the different elements of the song." (How many parts did he do? I asked myself.) It was an OK performance in my view. The boy definitely has talent; not my favorite, but I could appreciate it. Later that week, one of my favorite political pages on Facebook posted a clip from the CMA's with a teaser that included some of my favorite people from A&E's Duck Dynasty. I was intrigued and clicked on the link that featured Carrie Underwood doing a hilarious parody on 'ObamaSCARE' - bridged by a spoof of the so-called #1 hit, "Blurred Lines". I watched and laughed as Carrie quacked along with another famous Country artist (?). When Jase, Missy, Willie and Korie Robertson danced onto the stage, I listened to the tune and thought I recognized it from Nic Hawke's performance on The Voice. I wondered what all the fuss was about. I googled the video "Blurred Lines". The song had a funky, catchy beat. The girls were SO attractive. Not wearing much. Robin Thicke - I couldn't believe it was his father that I watched all those years star alongside Kirk Cameron on that innocent family show. I was hypnotized by Robin's blue eyes and focused closely on trying to understand the words. The video looked like trouble, but I kept watching. The music was seductive and the beat began to come alive in me. I didn't stop watching. Then I heard words like, "You want to hug me." (See now THAT'S cute!) Then, "What rhymes with hug me?" Ooops. Now this tune, those lyrics and images play over and over in my head. 3:00 in the morning on the way to the powder room. First thing out of bed. Fixing dinner. How shameful. Of all the things that should be occupying my mind, this tune is not one of them. I am ashamed that my God, who so masterfully created music and all the wonderful emotions and feelings that it evokes, has to listen to me hum this tune silently in my head. I can't get it out and I so wish I would have never googled it. For my brothers and sisters in Christ: I know the struggle I have with the world's music. It IS enticing. It IS creative. The dancing is often sexy and erotic. It IS catchy and many times very well done. But let's be very careful what we fill our ears and our minds and our eyes with. Don't be deceived that "it's just music"..."I can handle it". Music was created by God to have power to change our minds, our moods, our thoughts and desires, but the world has perverted it. I say - TURN IT OFF.

One Way Ticket to Contentment

Contentment. Grrrrr. Some days I just hate contentment. And after I catch myself going on and on and on in my head about what others have, don't you just hate it when you realize you have to have "that talk" with yourself about snapping out of it, getting a grip and being grateful for what you DO have?! It's hard. Especially in the part of the world where we live. My son came home from school the other day and said, "Edgar* lives in a mansion." I said, "How do YOU know?" "He told me." Great. Here I am --- my garage is falling down, the non-retaining wall is mimicking the garage, all the bills are backing up while my husband's out of work AGAIN, and..............EDGAR, only 7 years old, gets a mansion. Coveting. What a sorry waste of my time. Last week in Sunday School we learned that out of all the 10 Commandments, coveting is really the only one that can be done in secret. You can see someone steal. You can catch someone in a lie. You can witness a murder. But coveting.....that quiet, sneaky, secretive, malignant sin --- you can carry that out and nobody would ever be the wiser. Ouch. They take awesome trips. She's always driving a new car. They just bought a vacation home. They are so in love. Her house always looks perfect. She always looks like a million bucks. Her parents pay for her 3 kids' tuition? Her mother-in-law is so understanding. Her husband just got promoted AGAIN. WHAAT??And there you sit with those feelings of envy and how does it make you feel? Rotten. So allow me to testify, (and I'm talking to myself too) there isn't anything sweeter than the taste of THAT MOMENT you decide to shut all that down. Hasn't God always taken care of us? Hasn't He promised to meet our needs? Two days ago while in my car.......thinking.....moaning to myself.....I decided to go to God boldly for something. I said, GOD! WE NEED THIS! Friends, the very next day "it" (the very thing I prayed for) like Manna showed up at my front door. I'm not even kidding. I couldn't believe it, but then again -- I could. Because I know that's just how God works. Not always answering yes immediately, but always providing, always loving, always giving good gifts. So today I'm having a different talk with myself and I'm remembering how many sweet and special things I have and the little things that have happened lately that aren't exactly a paycheck, but are real things that remind me that God is sovereign, He cares for me and in Him I have all I need to be satisfied. I'm thinking about my darling, healthy and smart boys. I'm thinking that they have security in a home with two parents who love them. They attend good schools and have awesome teachers. They have a rich heritage of Godly men who weren't just Christians, but soul winners. I think about our tiny house, cozy and crowded but always entertained by the critters that live on our property and hide in our woods. I think about my dirty, old, crumb covered van. It starts EVERY DAY. You get the picture. So ALL ABOARD!! I'd like a one way ticket to contentment and I don't EVER want to come back.

*Not his REAL name. I mean WHO would name their child Edgar anyway?

Hurting with Hope

Yesterday I "accidentally" found myself on Pastor Levi Lusko's blog - a Pastor from Montana. I was on Pastor James MacDonald's blog and saw Levi's name in the column of blogs that J.M. follows. Loving his name, I clicked on it only to find his story one of the most helpful and inspirational things I think I've ever seen or heard or read. His blog isn't about "his story" -- it's about following Jesus. But because of modern technology, within just a few moments of clicking on his name, then being led to YouTube, I was able to read about his wife, children, his recent family crisis and the hope and the strength he has in Jesus and watch a few of his sermons online. What is it that's troubling you this day? What is it that you think is impossible for God to fix or redeem? I'm thinking of a few in my own life. I urge you -- listen to this dear young man who lost a young daughter unexpectedly just 3 days before Christmas, and watch how God works. Be filled with the Hope we have in Jesus because He is our only hope. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZPau-3uKFI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPVhap5lu_A http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHL5rmpOkzM

My Sound of Music Revenge

Growing up, there was very little we were permitted to watch on TV. Love Boat, Joker's Wild, soap operas - anything like that was strictly prohibited. The TV was never, I mean NEVER on on Sundays -- even if you were sick. But come to think of it, Dad *did* allow me to watch Wonder Woman and Dukes of Hazzard. It wasn't until I was grown that I realized why. "That Linda Carter is SO TALENTED", he said when he saw her singing on a variety show. Crack me up! (My husband loves to bust me about that.) The record player was more commonly used than the TV when I was young. Well, that and the 8-track player. And The Sound of Music LP played and played and played until it gave out. And back then, remember when the anticipation of your favorite movie coming on around Christmastime practically killed you? And when it finally aired, everyone was glued to the set and mom would graciously let me stay up a little late that night to see it. (Incidentally, have you ever noticed how infrequently you want to watch your favorite movie when you own it on DVD??) We would wait all year for The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music and countless holiday Peanuts cartoons. But still, our family's love of The Sound of Music greatly outweighed that of Charlie Brown and his cronies because, let's face it, we were musical. My Pop-Pop was a drummer (turned preacher) and my mother was a self-taught organist/pianist. (She still is, by the way. Every Sunday since she was a teen.) So of course I grew up around music. I cut my teeth on Bill & Gloria Gaither's records, The Hawaiians, Evie and of course the nerve-wracking shrills of Vestal Goodman. (Sorry, Vesty.) In hopes of grooming me for performances at The Academy of Music and later study at Carnegie Mellon, mom guided me to flute lessons (which I quit), piano lessons (couldn't stand them) and lastly - trying to unleash my inner rocker, guitar lessons (dropped out). But I never gave up singing. My parents plopped me on the fireplace hearth, gave me a hairbrush (as my mic) and had me practice for anyone that would listen. I sang often at church and even got my start in weddings when I was just 4. So when I had the chance to audition for The Sound of Music play at my [very small] school in 8th grade (was it 8th?), boy was my heart broken when I didn't make the cut. Really? Not even a nun??? Hmph!! Fast forward to modern day... Our honeymoon in 2000. What a thrill to be able to see exactly where The Sound of Music was filmed while we visited Salzburg, Austria and took the Salzburg tour. What a fantastic experience! We boarded a little van with "Hans" as our guide. We were excited to meet the one other family of four that was with us on the tour. How fun to meet people from all over the world when you travel. (Yeah. So much for that. They were our neighbors from Valley Forge.) Hans played the (cassette) movie soundtrack as we tooled through the moutains of Austria and I finally had my chance to belt out ♪ ♫ "The hills are aliiiivvveee, with the sound of muuuuuuuusic...." ♪ ♫ for a captive - VERY captive - audience. We went inside the church where the Captain and Maria were married. And looky here! I was able to find this fun photo of me and my husband in front of the gazebo where Rolf & Liesl sang and danced to "I am 16". Since we're not good at throwing things out at our house (ahem!) my husband was able to unearth the VHS version of the movie so my boys could decide whether they liked it enough to go see it live at our school. You see, the same school that robbed me of my dream of ever performing in a costume made out of recycled curtains is the same school where we send our boys today. The (very gifted) High School drama department is now running The Sound of Music play and our boys want to go. I'm planning to obnoxiously sing every song word-for-word from my seat to finally get my long awaited revenge. I do find it very sweet to hear my 4 year old singing "My favorite things" under his breath while he zooms his racecars around the family room floor. And both boys have been enjoying watching the Von Trapp children sing and dance. They giggle when they see adults dressed up in "married clothes" (tuxedos and fancy gowns) floating around the dance floor to the Austrian Waltz. What a delight and what a fine tradition. ♪ ♫ "The sun has gone to bed and so must I. Goodbye....goodbye...goodbye!!!!" ♪ ♫ COME SEE DC'S THE SOUND OF MUSIC. SHOW TIMES AND TICKETS HERE: https://www.dccs.org/pagecalpop.cfm?p=1&verbose=29605&LockSSL=true

What People Think When You Have Only 2 Children

One of the many blessings in my life is Christian radio. WBYN 107.5fm plays in my kitchen non-stop. I never turn it off. And my car radio only gets that same station, too. (Well, KYW to warn me about traffic, I guess.) In our area this station features RICH Focus on the Family authors and speakers/sermons during the 9 and 10 o'clock hours. I've heard the most incredible and thought provoking messages of late, and I swear if you see me tooling around in my van and recognize my plate on Lancaster Ave around these times, don't be surprised if you find me crying like a baby. Ann Kiemel. She's a remarkable speaker/author who shared her story of infertility and open adoption. I swear you must listen. She sounds like an itty bitty thing (and sure enough, she is) who made a decision in her early 30's to sign up for the Boston marathon. She had never run before and was not physically fit. But she endeavored to share Jesus with those she met along the way during her training! Her story of years of infertility hit me square in the heart and I sobbed and sobbed when she testified about how God eventually filled her empty arms with a baby of her own. Wait until you hear. When you have two children, people automatically think that's all you wanted. That's what I used to think. In February of 2012, my husband and I were thrilled to learn we would have another baby. Our third together. Before this I couldn't shake the thought of missing someone -- I just felt like someone was missing! Just ONE more, Lord? I know we're aged like Abraham and Sarah, but please Lord? God took that baby from us and since then we've been longing, longing for another. So why did He take our baby? So that I could learn compassion for other women who have suffered the same. Now God has opened up a door for me to listen, grieve and comfort other ladies who have ached like me. When I heard Ann's story, I took my boys in my arms and squeezed them with all my might. And I was finally able to thank God - not question Him - for the beautiful treasure that sometimes I forget they are to me. Now if I can just get the mister to open his heart to adoption... Up. I'm crying again. I thought this blog was supposed to be funny? Maybe tomorrow. LISTEN TO ANN KIEMEL HERE: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?MediaId={597B02CA-95AB-43F9-8F91-446E963A140E}">

Trophy Parenting

I've given up any hopes of being a Trophy Wife, so I've changed lanes and entered the world of Trophy Parenting. I heard an incredible FOTF (Focus on the Family) broadcast featuring [Missouri] Pastor Ted Cunningham; author of "Trophy Child". Cunningham is a self-proclaimed reformed trophy parent himself who was clued-in to his behavior on -- of all places, FACEBOOK! (A-hem!) He started blocking people who would constantly post about their childrens' accomplishments and then he realized he was doing it himself! (Woops!) "Trophy/vanity parenting": nowadays, parents are literally obsessed with their child's successes. We are pushing our children in every way; sports, reading (and not just reading, *accelerated* reading), learning a second language, etc, etc... (We're all familiar with the DVD series, "My Baby Can Read!") We sign them up every time the church offers something. Cunningham says, "We end up taking so much credit when our children do well, and then so much blame when they fail." Cunningham encourages us to start saying NO - and building margin within the home. "We're losing time together, serving, generousity..." I was encouraged and warned that both our childrens' successes and failures have very little to do with us. Conversely, Cunningham addressed the growing 'prolonging' process of adolescence. He cautioned - when a child enters that stage of wanting to feel their own way (i.e. they want to get a job, change their hairstyle or way of dress) we pull back - preventing the natural process of our child becoming an adult. Additionally, we are offering our children too many privileges/not enough responsibilities which also contributes to longer adolescence. It's such a hard balance - trying to raise your children to be independent and self-sufficient, but knowing when exactly to let go. James Dobson has terrific tips in his parenting books library. I encourage curious readers to use him as an excellent resource. I was made aware of my own Trophy Parenting tendencies when I heard this interview. Our church offers Awana club on Tuesday nights. Our older boy attended for many years and later ended up being a "helper" (games coach, etc...) But during his years at Awana, I don't think he EVER cracked open a book. So I was shocked when my 6 yo started just a few months ago... He immediately began to devour his workbooks and wouldn't stop memorizing verses! And I wasn't asking him to study, reminding him to read, nothing. He was persuing this on his own. But still I had to keep ironing his new badges onto his Awana vest and buy him the next Sparks book in the series. So what else did I do? Well, I posted the proof on Facebook, HELLO?! How ELSE are GiGi & Pop Pop going to see??? (SIC) To add to my Trophy Parenting confession, this same son was on TV last night. He auditioned and was selected last March -- somewhat accidentally -- for a VERY brief spot on a local childrens' network. This, I'm sure, was his first and last "job" as I don't plan on encouraging him into childhood stardom any more. (I mean afterall, look what happened to poor Danny Bonaduce - who visited our home once when he was 11 - that's another story altogether.) But the TV experience for my boy was fun and included two train rides into the city and the chance to meet Star - the talking "puppet" (although Levi still believes he's real). Sweet thing. I think I have a healthy sense of pride for my boys. Now, to keep that in check. LISTEN TO THE FOTF BROADCAST HERE: http://www.christianradio.com/ministry/focus-on-the-family/moving-beyond-performance-based-parenting-part-1.html#/moving-beyond-performance-based-parenting-part-1.html

Testing 1, 2, 3...

Welcome, and thanks for visiting. I'm going to start out slowly and jump right into things with a short funny from this morning. My 6 1/2 year old's Sunday School teachers were away this week, so we had him join us in our adult S.S. class. I was armed with goldfish, pretzels, a mini box of craisins and even a lollipop. He brought along two books to read to busy himself during the hour-long class. But much to my surprise, while covering I Thes 3 (addressing the importance of sexual purity!!), instead of reading his Ninjago books and snacking away, my boy was purposely engaged with the speaker, and raised his hand TWICE to answer questions about "How do we become sanctified?" and "WHEN do we achieve complete sanctification?". Good grief, Levi. Save it for AWANA! Enjoy your Sabbath everyone.